Monday evening, I went into Kiehl's, an expensive skin care products store that I have no business buying anything from at this moment in my life. But, I have been noticing lately that my eyes are particularly dark and puffy, and my current products and concealer are not doing all that much to help. I notice the dark circles in the mirror, in photos, and in videos I make of myself performing. I want them to go away.
So, I bought this night repair cream, which is supposed to work its magic overnight, and you wake up with visibly reduced darkness and puffiness. Okay, I thought, let's give it a shot. I slathered it on before going to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, my eyes were PUFFIER and DARKER than they had EVER been. At least, that I can remember.
Then I realized that, the night before, prior to the eye cream application and going to sleep, I had spent an hour on the phone with my boyfriend, who is in the process of moving to San Francisco, without me. I was crying hysterically for a significant part of the conversation.
No amount of eye cream was going to counteract an hour of crying hysterically before bed.
I am so sad to lose this relationship. To lose this person who has been the biggest part of my life for more than a year now. But in that moment, waking up with the puffy dark eyes I had spent money I don't have to counteract, I realized that the current state of the relationship is having a visibly negative impact on my well-being. What I'm sad about losing -- a relationship that brought me joy -- I have already lost. What I have now -- a relationship that is causing me pain -- is necessary to lose, if I am to be happy in my life again.
And there is no beauty product more effective than being happy in your life.